I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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