I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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