I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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