Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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