I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
