Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
