Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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