his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
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'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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