You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
