I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
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This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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