Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
