Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
