Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
