Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
