Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This is the high leading the old right now
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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