i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I've blown a few things in my day
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Everyone says I win the strip club
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
