I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
