i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
