hotel room ftw
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
