his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
