the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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