I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
