Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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