Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
