i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
