I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
