thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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