I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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