i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
