Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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