there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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