Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
