at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
