...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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