Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
