Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
