How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
