There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
soo... how was my night?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
