I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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