I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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