In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
