wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
