Your mouth is God's brothel.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
