you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
