I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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