He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
