You can't motorboat a personality
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
