i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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