when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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