party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
