that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
