If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it's like heaven, but drunker
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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