Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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