I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize