I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
