check it out our google latitudes are spooning
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize
