I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize